rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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