i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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