That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
