Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize