elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
