Betty ford says i'm here all night
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
