We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
