he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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