You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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