problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
