hell yes lets make some ravioli
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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