my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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