My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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