I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
