Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
