Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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