Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
