He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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