she was so not down for the gang bang
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
