By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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