you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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