But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
