So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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