from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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