Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
