she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
