I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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