shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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