i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
