Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
