They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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