dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
