How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
