I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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