I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
