The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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