its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His hands were made for my vagina.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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