if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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