my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
