Got a toothbrush?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
