i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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