omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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