He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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