i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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