I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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