I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
