she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
