Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They took my balls.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
