Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
