It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
