I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
