If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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