careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
