How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
