he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Is it because I queefed?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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