Don't make out with my wife yet
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
