Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
