yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
