She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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