i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize