That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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