I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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