Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
