i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
