kristin has been a bad kristin
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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