We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
