I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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