She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
