i think my tv is drunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
