How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
