idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
