the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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