I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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