i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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