This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize