I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
