be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
