The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize