She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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