Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
