i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
