i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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