Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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